Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Friday, December 12, 2008
I'm going to take just a second to share here. I think it's just Wrong to do a search with the word 'vintage' , and get 1,477 pages of items from the 70's. There is a difference between 'vintage' and 'retro' and what's more I was around for the 70's - they weren't that great the first time. I vividly remember that jumpsuit. It is burned into my brain , and one of the very few things that make banging my head against a wall to get it OUT sound almost appealing.
That's all I'm going to say.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
I would like to give Lesley a heartfelt thank you for featuring my blog on hers yesterday. She said some truly wonderful things , but what really touched me was her generosity of spirit. She has spent a considerable amount of time looking for and sharing various art blogs and Etsy sites with her readers , while overcoming challenges of her own - 'to step outside myself and be giving to others' was how she phrased it. So rather than saying 'thank you for featuring me on your blog' , I'd like to say 'thank you for sharing a bit of yourself with us'. It's not every day that someone just reaches out and gives a gift , but it is very much appreciated.
I know when to count my blessings *S*.
Lesley , by the by , is a talented artist herself , which you probably already knew - but if you haven't seen her work , please click right here. I can prove it , lol.
The little postcard is for you to play with if you'd like to. And they're Boys - a bit harder to find than girls , at least for me!
Enjoy , and Merry Christmas everyone.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
So I stopped by Lesley's blog Flatwoods Folkart this morning , and she has this very nifty feature called Monday's Musings - she hunts down particularly cool Etsy shops , apparently just for me *shamefaced grin*. She may have found a few you might like too , so check her blog out yourself. Of course if you don't , that just means more for ME lol (do I sound acquisitve? because I'm feeling acquistive let me tell ya lol). Now several of these shops were already on my radar , but there were a couple I'd missed and they were reallly cooool. . .
From Deciduous Soul Love this - can't think of much it wouldn't look fabulous on...
Love this too , found it at Bayou Salvage. Lace is Good. More is Better.
From A Joy To Be Held , soon to be hanging on my old door. . .
from Funkyshique a sweet little hanger for oh pretty much anywhere. . .
From Savage Salvage - this is going to live on my charoal tweed coat this year.
Also from Funkyshique , and also matches my coat lol. . .
Ladies , there's lots more left at these shops so DO go check them out - and stop by Lesley's blog to say thank you for hunting them down for us too , would you?
p.s. honey if you're reading this I didn't spend any money it was all free. luv you.
edit: shortly after posting this I received an email from my husband -
As I was perusing your blog today I found this little tidbit:
“p.s. honey if you're reading this I didn't spend any money it was all free. luv you.”
Thanks ….. free is nice. ;)
lol. he's so cute when he believes me ;o)
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
The Quill Cottage has written up several tutorials on some wonderful little ornaments and packaging for our Christmas tree's - please follow the link and see all the goodness she's shared! I love ornaments like this - I don't know if anyone knows this , but I really love vintage flavor - and these ornaments were exactly what I wanted to add to my tree.
One must have new ornaments every year , you know.
Merry Christmas to me , Merry Christmas to me la lala lala. . .
It is December 3rd , my house is decorated , and I've completed my first gift. This , my friends , is a personal best.
It was A Very Good Day...
and yes I was a big Zelda fan , for A Very Long Time.
Everybody getting in the spirit?
Friday, November 21, 2008
Hi there - I finished this necklace today , finally. It's one I actually started quite some time ago and totally lost my muse on. Since I should be working on either Christmas gifts or fabric , she has naturally made a re-appearance in the jewelry department lol. In this photo the stones look green , but in the last photo they're much truer to color. It's made with facted amazonite , chunky larimar
nuggets , a very cool sort of 'pinched' magnesite (they look a bit like seeds to me) and
some really lovely bronzestone - it carries a beautiful golden shimmer all through it. I also made it adjustable in length. A girlfriend had mentioned that like me , she preferred longer necklaces , and it got me to thinking. I have this gift - everytime I'm truly in the mood to wear a particular piece , it's the wrong length for whatever the top
is I'm in. Sooo , I decided this one would work with anything a girl felt like wearing lol. And I love the sweet chocolate pearls swinging just above the pendant - I'm thinking I should add some drops just at the left shoulder , where the ribbon connects. Then when the ribbon is removed , you'd still have a little interest trailing down the nape of the neck. . .
But not tonight *smile*.
As for the photo's , please forgive - I took the pictures at night , and my light wasn't good. The colors here work so well together , I should have waited and done them in the morning light.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
I just thought of this , wish I'd used in the post below. Does anyone else buy great old stuff (like O say old tins) specifically to distress , paint , and otherwise alter them - then get them home and think 'but they look so old and cool now - I can't cover that up. .'
Is it just me?
Christy , Bev , and Beks have all tagged me to list 6 things about myself that no-one cares to hear lol - I evidently need to be 'quirky , yet boring'.
I'll do my best.
Here are the rules...
1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Mention the rules.
3. Tell six quirky yet boring, unspectacular details about yourself.
4. Tag six other bloggers by linking to them.
5. Go to each person's blog and leave a comment that lets them know they've been tagged.
1) I hate to dust.
2) When I watch creature features , I hit mute when I start to panic , and when the lighting gets really dim I turn the sound up like it's going to help me see better. (?) I have hit the ceiling any number of times now , you'd think I'd learn.
3)I love shows that have to do w/the supernatural - like , for instance , Supernatural. Fringe is pretty good too.
4)I require most of our pillows or I can't sleep. Two under my head - one fat , one thin , thin goes on top - and another fat one to prop myself up with.
5)I blow dry my art more often than I blow dry my hair.
6)I'm into boots. Bev posted a while ago about how hard it is to find cute comfortable shoes and she's right. Boots , on the other hand , have nice solid heels , traction and style.
I will never forget watching some show , What Not to Wear I think , and shaking my head when they dressed the nanny up in a suit and heels to take the kids to the park. WhatEVer. I wear clothes I can go down the slide in , stomp in puddles in , and take him to the river in. We still try to drown each other stomping in puddles - every mom should zen a little when there are good puddles. Experience the full Puddle Potential. Jump up and come down HARD WITH BOTH FEET - really punch it. Your kids will think they've died and gone to heaven , trust me. Dirty clothes are why washers were invented - it just can't get any easier.
anyway - I'd tag six more people , but everyone I know has played this game lol. Please forgive me ladies , but thanks for thinking of me all. I swear if I have a brainstorm , I'll come back and tag somebody ok?
Friday, November 14, 2008
Back again - I got some photo's of a few jewelry pieces and thought I'd better get them up before I ditz off again lol. This pair I really enjoy. I used a pair of antique safety pins and some lovely Amazonite from Szarka.
This pair I made months ago , back in July , maybe? I had come across some vintage floral cabs on Etsy and didn't really know what to do with them at the time - wound up using them here with some tiny pearls from an old necklace , aventurine , and a pair of old keys. I tried to get photo's , couldn't get a good one and then never got back to it. Today went quite well though. :)
And these I made a few weeks ago. I used opal and pearls , but the metal came from a belt I found at the thrift. It was one of the ugliest things I've ever seen , but both my gf and the girl at the counter raved over this thing. I had no problem taking it apart , which I can't say for many of the items I bring home lol. Sometimes I'll see a great piece and refuse to even buy it , but there are quite a few I'll buy anyway and then wind up wearing them as is lol.
Well , at least I've gotten a few things up - see , I haven't quit arting , I'm just a rotten rotten blogger lol. Better start the cacciatore up , we're taking some dinner up to the folks tonight and I don't like cooking up there. I like my big pots and pans , all my spices and seasonings , and the fact that my dad's not breathing down my neck while I'm trying to work lol. For an individual that has just recently learned how to boil water , he is just Chock FULL of instruction.
Yes I'm using my sarcasm. Ahem.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Hi all - thought I'd share what I've been up to , finished or not *smiles*. I joined an online workshop called Fibre in Form , hosted be the wonderful Lynda Monk and Carol McFee.We're working on creating texture on canvas and fabric using many different media and it's been lots of fun , but fair challenging to those of us (me) that are learning how to sew on the fly. I've never sewed. I glued. I have now sewn , but can't say I'm very good at it yet - I spend more time trying to figure out why I'm not sewing than actually sewing. The free motion on Tyvek is just not happening - yet. It will happen , though. The group has been very helpful and supportive , in particular Susan Ithalo who is just a GEM , lol.
Each of these pieces were for a particular lesson , but I didn't really stick to the color schemes outlined - I was in the mood for deep/dark and that was where I went. I'm very pleased with both of these in real life , particularly this one to the left. It doesn't show well , but I used a mica-based paint , and it's quite reflective. It's like dark snow , actually - if you've ever seen the way snow can glitter in the sun , that's what this stuff does.
This last bit I did stick to the colors I was supposed to use - the purpose was to create a rusty look. I'm thinking I might hit it with a contrasting color and see what happens (grin) but for the moment this is where it's at. It would look rustier with more of the Trans. Red Iron Oxide - but Purple Diowhatsit sounds more interesting lol. Or Tim's color washes? Haven't done that yet. . .
We used some inks/paints with our sewn samples - remember I said I don't sew now - but in the next steps , we made these. I feel like the queen of UFO's (un-finished objects) now. I have three jewelry bits on the table , one finished for weeks , two in process that should be done but I just haven't had time. Brady's been keeping us very busy - he was asked to be in a 'challenge group' this year at school (cuz he's SO Smart!), and we got off to a pretty rocky start with that , but schedules are smoother now. We're (Dan and I) also working two charity events for families and children with financial challenges , which makes me pretty happy. Hopefully it'll make the kids and parents happy , too.
Anyway , I'll try to get back soon with a finished art piece and get some photo's of the jewelry too. I've got some idea's on what I'd like to do with these fabrics and beads , but we shall see. . .
Monday, October 13, 2008
Or as I call him - the Wee Gee lol. I am very , very late in making these introductions and my apologies to Deb of Land of Nod Studios for taking so long - but a big THANK YOU gifting me with this handsome little guy!
This is Garrison - Deb makes these guys and I was lucky enough to get one of my very own not long ago. My pictures just don't do him justice. Deb is a talented artist and there isn't a detail she overlooks - he's beautifully made , his ears are scruffy, his little eyes bright and inquisitive - and he's jointed too. Every stitch is perfect. I could never DO this Deb , and I'll treasure him always - thank you so much for sending me sweet G., and I think of you with a smile every time I see him. He sits at my computer with Sara and keeps me company every day.
Deb also makes great soldered pieces - she found an awesome lot of old bottles and has been making them for her Etsy shop non-stop. Stop by and take a look!
Monday, October 6, 2008
do you ever wonder how they grow so fast?
How do you get from this:
and from this:
The top photo features mine in the middle , and brothers Jordan (left) and Tyler (right) at a ballgame this summer.
I've been going through my digital's today and trying to organize them into some semblance of order - so far I've alphabetized from Ballgame's to Zoo. I've been doing this for hours now - I had no intention of anything of the sort when I got up this morning , but here I sit lol. In my jammies. It's now almost time for B. to get home from school and I haven't moved since he left, unless it was to grab another cup of coffee! (I'll get dressed soon and try to fake him out I think).
Anyway - multiple mama moments this morning. He was so tiny when we brought him home , just an itty-bitty baby -
and now he's destroying my home (w/lots of help from his friends) playing Rock Band and refining his cool:
And then there's me. There are very few pictures of me left , and I'll tell you why. Ahem. Here's a photo of me prior to child:
Now it's not a great shot - my eye's are almost always shut due to some fool's idea of that red-eye thing and it makes me blink - but I do have makeup on , and plus it's the only one I can find from pre-baby days right now lol.
All current pictures look like this:
This was taken at the crack of 5AM Christmas morning. Sadly , it's also the BEST one taken at the crack of 5AM Christmas morning. Christmas Eve was a lot of fun , but Christmas morning was a little rough
Uh-oh. Husband and son are both home - and I'm still in the jammies. Gotta go!
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
I wanted to take a few minutes and let you know about something that really touched me this morning. A friend of mine has a mother-in-law diagnosed with Alzheimers , and I know from personal experience what this can mean. She's been busy creating some art pieces and is auctioning them off on her blog, Average American Girl. Her earnings will be donated to Memory Walk and you can read all about how to bid , and if you win donate that bid , on her blog.
I was so moved by Christy's generous little heart today. I hope you stop by and participate if you can. It's painful to live with - the parent you know so well is not the grandparent your kids come to know , and so many things get lost in the course of the disease. My mom loved kids , but she has no relationship to speak of with mine. A lot of times it's the little things that bother me , like how mom fries chicken or bit's of family history that she knew. She used to be the Keeper in my family. She had all the stories and all the photos , and she had some great recipes too.
When my mother had a mastectomy two years ago , she had to be taken back to the ER no less than 3 times , because she kept ripping her shunt out. When she woke up in the morning she didn't know why she hurt so much or why her breast was gone - I had to explain it to her , and then we both cried. She was in tears because she knew she should have known why, and it frightened her that she didn't - and I cried for the same reason. It broke my heart.
Most of the time with us it's not like that , most of the time it's like caring for another child , at least to me. But sometimes it's bad. And it scares me , because my sibs and I may have the same problems. We really don't know - her sibs don't. I look at my son and I wonder , who will care for him?
So - I put my bid in at Christy's blog. I hope I don't win.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
I thought I'd share a site I enjoy shopping - you can find it here , at Magpie Gemstones.
It's owned by a woman who goes by the name of Szarka , a name I've never forgotten even once, and I'm reeeeeally bad at remembering names lol.
Her name made me think of caravans and firelight - it sounds very Romany to me.'Magpie' makes me think of, well, magpies. There's more than a few in my family tree, believe me. As it turns out , she and her husband really were gypsy's for quite a while - they used to travel their own circuit of gemshows and lived on the road for several years, so I was right. Instink, as my friend Eddy would say.
I found my coral and tiger iron there, but she's got tons more and consequently, so do I lol. Laugh or cry, what to do what to do...anyway, she tries very hard to bring home only the best for her customers to select from and she does a pretty darn good job. Yes I do know her and no I'm not getting paid to send anyone over (darnit) - but hey. If you're looking , drop in and see what's available. She's knowledgeable about her product too, so if you have a question or need some help, just ask.
If you do happen to pick up some goodies and create a little sumthin-sumthin , let me know - I'd love to see it!
Sunday, September 7, 2008
You may not remember this , but back in whenever Fathers Day is , I posted the Manlace. With my usual 20/20 hindsight , I've reconsidered. I'll wear the Manlace - cuz I can walk the walk baby - and I'm going to buy him a gun safe. Or something.
Poor guy. The things he puts up with lol.
At least I wasn't deeply into tussie-mussies.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Anybody else love school? I do. I love it a LOT. And so much more now that I'm not the one that has to go lol. The silence here was so resounding both my ears were actually ringing that first day. No games , no tv , no gang of eight-year-olds wearing bandannas around their heads while they made less than lovely music to that horrible hideous horrible game , Rock Band. It's been a wonderful summer , but man - silence really is golden and there has been very little of it 'round here , my friends.
I have managed to get some art time in though - every spare second I've had has been spent learning how to create jewelry , and this piece above is a necklace I did last Sunday , made with coral and tiger iron (lovely little stone). The bad news is this is all I can show you - the good new is that's because the other pieces will be in an upcoming book on jewelry , slated to be pub'd next fall!
I'm still somewhere between happy and horrified - but doing better than the panic attacks I had when I was first asked to participate , lol. "How optimistic of you" , thought I to myself."And here I was just hoping it wouldn't disintegrate if I blew on it. You're sure you'd like me to submit for your book?"
Ah well. It's a story with a happy ending , although there was some frustration there in the middle a couple of times. :) I was flattered to be asked and proud to be included , and along the way I've discovered just how much I enjoy making jewelry. I'm still developing my skills, but I've got some very cool idea's I'd like to work on so you can expect to see plenty more pieces as I move along.
Later babes - I'm off to feed the masses. But tomorrow my boys will both be gone for the day and I can play again. I think , lol.
Monday, July 14, 2008
I love these things - I'm going to hunt for some other examples I've seen later , but I'm not sure if I'll be able to find them. There are some truly amazing antique pocketwathes (wathes?) I've developed a lisp lol - pocketWATCHES I mean - that I've seen , but whether I'll be able to find them on YouTube , I don't know. And right now my son is dying to get answers to some really windy questions and I can't think straight lol.
Nellie over at Early Morning Thoughts (her link can be found on my blog roll on the left) did me the honor of including me in her list of inspirational blogs , and gave me this award:
I am truly honored that she would do such a thing , and she's put me in some pretty amazing company. The rules were these:
Put the logo on your blog
Add a link to the person that nominated you
Nominate up to 7 other blogs
Leave a message for your nominees on their blogs
Now I'm going to change this up just a wee bit , as a surprise. I will add the expected artist blogs , but mingled in are other sites that I enjoy reading or browsing as the case may be - and one isn't even a blog , it's a French dotcom. Don't understand a word of it , don't remember how I found it , but I'm just fascinated with her work. Took me a while to work out how to move around but I'll give you a hint - click on the header , and then start clicking on the categories as they scroll through.
Well , these should keep you occupied for a while. They've killed a lot of hours for me lol. There's a bit of art and a bit of reading - well a lot of reading really. But that captures my attention too - I'm a big reader and I love a good story. Eric's blog is newer but I do love his art and it was very interesting learning something about the process.
Sunday, July 6, 2008
This is my entry for the MWO challenge on Gails blog. She'll be uploading all the entries tomorrow and then the voting shall commence. I'm really curious to see what everyone has done - the only requirement was to use the image she provided but other than that , you could go to any media your little heart desired , so there should be a lot of variety.
I decided to make a journal cover for myself. Actually , I'd planned on having the whole journal done darnit , but the last few days I haven't been able to get to the table , so I guess this is really a WIP. All I have left is to get my pages together and drill a few holes , and I'm pretty much done. I want to be able to flip the cover all the way around to the back if I'm working/writing in bed , and I also want to be able to rearrange pages if needed to keep my thoughts together on a specific piece. The post-it thing hasn't really worked out.
So this is my first journal , and for now everything's going in it. We'll see how that works and I'll change things up down the road if I need to. Any expert journallers out there can feel free to shoot me suggestions or advice - I'm all ears lol.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
I know there are a lot of Idol fans out there , but I never really got into that show. The one I'm glued to is 'So You Think You Can Dance' - I love Joshua and Katee the most , and of course Twitch and Kherrington , but this last week Mark and Chelsea just knocked it OUT , at least for me.
The story behind the dance was of a woman who feels her relationship slipping away from her - I went out and got the music afterwards because it just blew me away. I've been there , we've all been there at some point or in some way - and this piece sucked the air from my lungs. I even crumpled up at the end , when he left her and went to work.
It just gets to me , what can I say. I continue to crumple every time I watch the video.
Anyway , I went looking for the video on Youtube so I could post it on my blog. There have been so many fanTAStic dances - Joshua is my BOY! - but - wow.
Take a look and see them dance here .
(for the record , I love Joshua & Katee - but if they win Twitch loses - what to do what to do. . .)
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
I ran across something interesting yesterday on my 'break' from cleaning the house. I have absolutely no clue how I wound up there , but there's a new blog in town and it's an art challenge blog , put together by Gail Schmidt called Mind Wide Open. I've added a button link at my top left sidebar , too. Pretty , isn't it?! Anyway , Gail's got an absolutely gorgeous image up for the first challenge piece - I suggest you pop over and see what's what! The prize is a gift certificate to her store Shabby Cottage Studio's , which is stocked with some rather scrumptious papers and other goodies. As are the Etsy's and websites of a few of her design team members , some of which I know and some of which I don't. And one of which I just scored several old tins and various other goodies from *cough*. That was Art and Images by Kim (come on , I had to look , didn't I?).
Next up , I have an online friend named Nellie Wortman who is so talented , and sweet as the day is long. Sweeter , actually - her blog is called Early Morning Thoughts and it's a blog I visit every chance I get. Nellie makes lovely art and has an Etsy site as well , Nellies Creative Touch - drop by and look , but please don't buy anything because I want it , ok?
Speaking of beautiful journals (was I?) another Etsy site of my friend Glenda Bailey , TwoCool Texans would be a place worth visiting , too. Glenda and her daughter Alisha both have some lovely things , and there's a great variety - felting , collage sheets , journals , the list goes on and on.
Remember - friends enable friends. Have fun , lol!
Saturday, June 28, 2008
The little bottle has lettering that reads 'Rogers & Callet , Paris" , which was a perfumery opened in 1806 by Jean-Marie Farina. Napoleon was quite fond of him , but since I picked the bottle up at the flea market I don't have a clue how old it really is. But that's pretty neat , huh? It was probably worth a fortune right up until I glued on wings and a typewriter key , lol.
The funny thing is that although Sara is only 6" tall , I managed to destroy 3 rooms in 'the making of' - millinery boxes , lace boxes , jewelry boxes , sewing implements , glue(s) etc. etc., - I amaze myself sometimes. And I amazed Dan too , since he walked in the front door and had to vault two suitcases and an old lampshade or fall down. And then starved quietly until I finished her off , poor guy. I made up for it lol - he wasn't the only one ready to pass out from hunger! Baby wanted the Big food , believe me.
Enjoy the weekend , everyone - we've got 90 degrees here and it's gorgeous out. Hope you have cool breezes and AC if you're in one of those ugly-hot area's!
take care all.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Happy Fathers Day to all of the good daddies out there - may it be filled with Big Food and lots of love from your personal fan club today!
My husband got a Manlace as one of his gifts - I about killed myself trying to make it Manly enough for him to actually wear it and the good news is he actually did - Yay! I was wondering about mid-point what had possessed me to even start , since he's really not a jewelry-wearin' kind of guy.
The finished product here is not what I started out with though - that got voted down by his friend DJ as being too foofoo. I didn't think it was , but o well. I had wrapped some wire around the tags (manly) and strung some spacer beads (very plain ones , tiny little silver balls with some bali spacers) and made about ten double eyepins with slightly larger versions of the same thing to hang the dogtags off of. I only needed two , but I was too retarded to read my own measurements , so I made several. The good news is I was working with Plain and Manly wire - very cost effective
Anyway. So when D stopped by , I asked if he thought it was manly enough and he said no way nice try but a swing and a miss. But he then followed up by asking Dan where his tackle box was (luv D , he was totally feelin me) and brought me back spinners , which replaced the eyepins and I was Really jazzed because that was exactly the Manly slash Cute (shh) little accoutrement I wanted in the first place! And the fact that D can do this with absolutely no coaching from me just impresses me to no end. I mean really - very cool. Perhaps if he's very Very good , I will let him come make more jewelry with me. He's either got mad skills or latent tendencies - not sure which yet but we'll hammer that out later. It'll be fun for me and that's the important thing.
So there you have it - spinners , dog tags and washers - Manly. If the utterly adorable boychild is a little questionable - too bad , lol. You brought it on yourself , darlin'.
Happy Father's Day!
Friday, June 13, 2008
Observe if you will my previous post. WHY? Why why why? I get one paragraph that looks as it should , and in the next one none of the lines have spaces between them and it's all scrunched up - what's up with that?? How screwy does Blogger have to be to actually mess that up? Didn't look that way in 'preview' , did it?! NOOOooooo.
SO messin' with my chi mutter mutter mutter. . .
I was just perusing my Google Reader - boy has it been a while , that is a Very long list now - and found that Dawn at The Feathered Nest has re-purposed something my mother used to do! Mom used to make beaded ornaments for Christmas , she'd buy all kinds of beautiful beads , put a pin through and insert them into fabric covered styrofoam balls. They were absolutely dazzling to my young eyes hung about the house on ribbons , and I still have many of the old pearls , rhinestones and beads she used in my stash. Which I hoard - if it was mom's , it stays here lol.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Someone just asked me if something 'had happened' because of my post below and my answer was no , but that's not true. A lot of things have happened in the past weeks , both in my life and in my good friends life as well. Some of them have been really wonderful , but recently there have been some very hard things we've had to deal with too. They've been shattering , and scary , and overwhelming - I think that's why I connected to that quote so much as I was looking through my little collection today. So if anyone else is going through their own season of change , I hope that when you read it you draw the strength to step up and deal no matter how frightened or reluctant you feel. There are times when we all have to face things we don't expect or want to - my wish for all of you is to follow your heart and fight for the things in your life that are important. Know that you're not the only one that has had to make a painful choice or fight an uphill battle , regardless of how lonely it may be at times.
I love what Teddy had to say , and it comforted me. It reminds us that it isn't all about the deed , or having a perfect and blemish-free life. It's about living. It's about growing stronger by digging deep for your courage , accepting your failures because tomorrow your decision would be the same , making choices that terrify you because you know they're right , and knowing that at the end of the day no matter the sacrifice , the people you love will benefit greatly. You only get one life , and you've got to run it like you own it. Because you do own it.
But thank God for the friends that get us through the tears and back to our feet and then walk shoulder to shoulder with us when we're limping a bit. They lend their strength when ours fails - Teddy didn't mention them , but we all know how invaluable they are.
Semper fi , baby.
"It is not the critic who counts, not the one who points out how the strong man stumbled or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly, who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat." -- Teddy Roosevelt
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Saturday, May 10, 2008
There have been some problems with Firefox users viewing the blog so I have taken off and then replaced the last few posts for reasons I cannot explain. And I mean that. Love to but can't , just don't have the kind of clearance it requires lol.
So Anyway - the blog is still a work in progress , but progress is being made for all my little Firefox friends who were Not having fun anymore - I think my friend Christy has put you back on board! She has been and continues to be a huge help and I appreciate it very much.
I Think I shall keep her , O yes I do. . .
Friday, May 9, 2008
As many of you may know , the Orphan legislation passed the House today and it's on it's way to the House Judiciary Commitee. Please continue to write your political representatives - this bill as written would eliminate our current copyright protection and endanger our artworks , photographs and any other intellectual property we may have available. Please click on the link below to send a letter stating your objections from this site:
They have several different letters which have already been written for you to choose from , and would automatically be sent to the people who are representing your district wherever that may be.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
I'm in a workshop in The Artist's Circle on Photo Manipulation , based on Angela Cartwrights book Mixed Emulsions. We've several exercises to complete , the first using markers to color the black and white image , then inks and acrylics - but I just threw out all my old markers since they had dried up. They were pretty old , and given to me by a friend several years ago. What I wound up doing was laying down some paint and adding oil pastels over top. I've had them quite a while and never used them before , they're pretty neat. Feels like a crayon when you lay it down but blends much more easily. There are bit's of colored pencil , Pitt pen and chalks as well - I think she's looking pretty good so far , but she's definitely a work in progress. I love the white hair - very Marie Antoinette-y I think , lol. Hope everyone is having a wonderful Monday - I'm out!
A friend sent me this link today ,
which I thought was pretty cool , since I had no idea what had happened when it went up before Congress. I haven't even checked out the link yet , but she seems to think it didn't happen today.
If you'd like it grab it!
Sunday, May 4, 2008
A lot of confusion exists about what the Orphan Legislation actually entails and I hope this will help.
The goal of the Orphan leg. is to free up large institutions
or industries like libraries , museums , filmmakers etc. to use
images they’ve collected and can’t use because of current law. They
have millions of images/film/etc. that they can’t locate owners for
but copyright has not expired and they’d like to make them available
for educational and historical purposes. There are more applications
here but I won’t go into all of them. The examples cited are pretty
consistently old film and photo’s and if you stop there it’s all just
ducky , but there are other consequences.
The searcher would input an image , search through the registries for a match , and upon failing to find one would then supply the Copyright office with a Notice of Use. This details the search methods used and the intended use etc. and is referred to as the NOU. The CO is required to keep all records of this indefinitely. Failure to provide a NOU would remove all protection offered by limited remedy. Limited remedy means that instead of being hit with $150,000 fine or some such , the infringer is required to repay profits to the legal owner in a responsible manner and immediately desist use of the item in question.
I don’t mind the goal - I mind the fix. It doesn’t qualify the costs
to little guys in any way , and it doesn’t differentiate our stuff
from the stated interest’s of education and documentaries anywhere I
can find. I‘ve looked - maybe I missed something and if so , please
give me a heads up but I don’t think I have. For the average artist , this is too much $$ and time to spend - we have jobs , families , bills to pay and gas to buy - it just isn’t feasible. For the larger institutions it’s viable - for the little guy it’s very destructive and it turns us into a feeding ground for anyone that’s hungry.
Here’s a link to ASMP with info on the House bill (there areactually two , not just one) that delineates the essentials of the bill and changes to it since inception as well as their proposal to modify it which I actually like a lot -
It doesn’t address all of the issue for us. But the change I like is that all uses would be required to be non-profit which would effectively make it absolutely no fun for somebody to steal my stuff. I think it would effectively narrow the field of interested parties , and that’s good.
I’ve read several very loving interviews in support of the legislation , I’ve read statements it never existed and doesn’t exist now (?) , but it does. It may not be intended to deliberately hurt us but it can , and the larger institutions just really don’t have our interests in mind here. They didn’t put this together for us to make copies of our old photos for the wedding or collage sheets, they did it to use their collections that currently they are unable to.
The law that is changed here is that now if you can’t gain permission of use by finding the owner or the item in question , you can’t use the image or what have you , period. It’s copyright protected. The change would be if the owner is not found by doing the “qualifying search”, you CAN use the image etc. after filing your NOU. Instead of assuming all work is owned , it assumes it’s not , essentially. That’s why the infringer is no longer culpable financially , unless they continue to use the work after the true owner discovers it and notifies them. If they do NOT file a NOU , they lose the right to claim limited remedy and we’re all back to square one. Litigation costs against infringements are no fun now , of course , but we didn’t have to jump through all the other hoops too. Now all we have to do is make it and go merrily on our way. It’s ours , we know it , the law knows it , the end. Pouf done. If one was going to sell a design there’d be more to it , or if
someone wanted to base their derivative art on our design and sell it then we should have done more and we have these things available - but on the whole many of us could stop there.
Friday, May 2, 2008
I meant to include this in my earlier post with the link information but lost my own trail there , I'm sorry.
You can sign that petition and stop there if you'd like , but all a petition will indicate is the degree of interest on the topic , really. That's fine as far as it goes , but who is in charge of submitting it? To whom? Will it get submitted? Your best option would be to email your political representatives directly , and I provided a link with a list of names and contact info for all of them too. Write one email , copy it and send it to everyone you can think of and state your case. My theory is if we bury them in as much bs as they'd like to bury us in - they're the ones that will fold. There's a lot more of us and we should take advantage of that. It's EASY , people - give it a go.
If you don't care whether the images on your blog or photostream of your are taken and profited from - legally - unless you are very vigilant and willing to shell out a fair amount of cash , don't waste your time reading this. What if your kids blown up poster size or your artwork and idea's are now being legally used by someone else? How's that sound?
I hope you will read this. I know it's long - it took a long time to write too , believe me. And I did it because I'm angry at the mere thought of the above actually happening and there is real potential for it to manifest. This legislation is crippling - you have no idea until you read it and really start thinking about what it actually entails. The cost alone is too prohibitive to safegaurd our work - a safegaurd we enjoy now for free , by law.
Current law states that your artwork is protected from the moment of conception - registering it and adding the copyright symbol is not required to protect and proclaim your right to your own work.
This bill would 'orphan' every photo or artwork or available piece of your personal/intellectual property unless you've registered it with private companies. Yes , that is plural. This bill would require you to not only add the copyright symbol to all images which requires a donation to our government , it would require that you pay to register your work/image at not just one but all THREE registry sites , or run the risk of your image or work being orphaned. 'Orphaned' translates to 'appropriated' by private business or anyone else who wants them. One of the search engines these registry sites would be using is PicScout , which has a 99% success rate. It's the only one I've read about , but it's not the only one that will be used and this has a bearing too.
This is an excerpt from an article written by Mark Simon here: http://tiny.cc/qQjdY
"Photos on the internet could be orphaned. With tens of millions of photos shared online with services like Flickr, Shutterfly and Snapfish, there is a huge opportunity for unauthorized use of your photos... legally.
You could see photos you take of your family and kids, or of a family vacation, used in a magazine or newspaper without your permission or payment to you. You would have to pay to register your photos, all of them, in every new registry in order to protect them. Say the average person takes 300 photos per year (I take a lot more than that). If a registry only charges $5 per image, that is a whopping $1,500 to protect your photos that are protected automatically under the current laws. If there are three registries, protecting your images could cost an amazing $4,500. Not to mention the time it would take to register every photo you take. Plus, you will also have to place your copyright sign on every photo.
It gets even better. Anyone can submit images, including your images. They would then be excused from any liability for infringement (also known as THEFT) unless the legitimate rights owner (you) responds within a certain period of time to grant or deny permission to use your work.
That means you will also have to look through every image in every registry all the time to make sure someone is not stealing and registering your art. You could actually end up illegally using your own artwork if someone else registers it. DOES ANYONE SEE A PROBLEM WITH THIS? "
That 'anyone can submit photos , even yours' thing - that includes you Etsy and Ebay sellers as well. If it's liftable - guess what. You're no longer automatically and legally protected. Alarming? Let's take a quick second and ask ourselves how many people are busy stockpiling our images right now , wherever they are , in hopes of some personal gain? You know these cretins exist , and this is a heaven sent oppurtunity for them. So both the jackals AND private industry stand to gain here.
Those fees are just for 300 photos and one person , and we've all seen blogs and photostreams chock full of beautiful pictures , have we not? Can you imagine the haul these people and businesses are going to make in it's entirety? My pocket is not ample - I can't afford the registration , and I sure can't afford the fees required to go to court to fight for my right to my own work.
So that's just the registration - it get's better , because even if you've paid the three sites , you've still got problems. Right now we're all protected under current international law. These people are seeking to re-write that law on an international level - it is apparently on the board in Europe as well. I don't understand all the complications there , only that they exist. My best choice will be removing every thing I have from public view , as far as I can tell. And I will. In a heartbeat I will - but if the image has already been lifted , too bad for me , huh? You too. Where and how are we going to sell our work , anyway? Can we afford to register each piece to protect it?
Let's go back to the wicked cool technology with the 99% success rate. I read an article by Brad Holland and CynthiaTurner here: http://tiny.cc/KCJ02 , explaining how this works. I wish I could just post the excerpts but in this case I can't. It would behoove you to go to the site here and read the information links: http://tiny.cc/D3rRX
Copyright law as currently written could change rather significantly , and I think you ought to concern yourselves with that.
And here is a link to contact info on government officials , so that you can write them a letter stating your feelings whatever they may be:
I hope you do. It's your images and work , it's your community and you should be angry they have so completely discounted our concerns , for petes sake. For photos of our family , our intellectual property , our artwork - we'd have to pay. For protection we enjoy now as a lawful right - we have to pay. That's not working for me.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Hi everybody (or anybody , as the case may be) , I've been slacking on the blog posts lately and thought I'd at least drop in and say hello.
I've been working on cleaning and organizing the kitchen studio. The house too , but who cares 'bout THAT lol. It takes me a while to gear up for the kitchen , to be honest. Just the thought of moving everything made me tired , but I did - I also found new storage at fab prices , and that's made a huge difference! I'm funny - I'll spend the money on supplies , but I balk at paying for plastic storage drawers lol. I don't like them to begin with , I think they're priced too high and though I did try - every time I put one in the cart I wound up putting it right back on the shelf shortly thereafter. I finally hit a sale (and the thrift) and got two more sets of drawers that were not only reasonably priced but would function WELL. That was my other peeve - I didn't want to buy storage that I'd still be "making do" with. I've got all kinds of weird stuff here , I could do that for free lol.
I have taken a few pictures in a responsible blogger sort of way and I'll load them up in the next few days so you can see what I've been up to. Don't know how exciting that is for y'all really , but hey - maybe you'll get a brilliant idea or be inspired to burrow through your own supplies and detritus in search of the table you're sure you had at Some point but you've been working on the counter for months (which is ok , you actually like that more) but anyway the table could be GONE for all you know because really all you can see is one leg. Which could be from a thrift store and not really belong to the table at all. Think about it.
So I did that , and now I'm working on unmounting all the rubber. If any of you have been thinking about doing the same thing , but have been procratinating as I have - you know what? Go with that. You think it's going to be a tedious job now , wait until you get started. It all goes downhill from there. I'm indexing and unmounting at the same time , and it really is just a long haul , girls. But I will say that the space I'm gaining is very nice , and it is totally worth it. I do love the sight of an empty drawer , lol - it's just not fun. But it's worth it , lol.
I'll tell you more about how I did my unmounting when I come back - hope the rest of you cleaning and organizing will post a few pics too , since this spring fever seems to visiting the studios of several of my friends! I love that I'm not the only one suffering through this lol. It really does feel awesome when it's done , doesn't it?!
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Anyway , I felt in the mood for a change of pace with this one. I've always loved what I call 'birdy art' and wanted to make some , and I wanted to have fun - you know , get in touch with my inner child *grin*. The bit's came together quite handily - the back ground was just a BEAR. I screwed that thing up so many times I've lost count now lol. Started off with a beauty - all soft and eggy colored , little splatter of this and a splash of that - then I stamped it and that was ok - but then I went to put a coat of varnish on and smeared every one of them! So back to painting I went , played around with some other 'looks' which were kind of nice but not with these colors and rubbed it right back off with a baby wipe (love those). Do you see the pink ring around the perimeter? That's a remnant - I left it cause I thought it looked kinda cool. As an accent - as a solid 'frame' around the piece it made my eyes tear up lol. Wow - I was seeing spots , lol. I never did get that soft blend again I'd made , but maybe next time. I would like to make some softer pieces , but there's 'soft' and then there's 'yawn' , and I kept making 'yawn' after that first one. Just blah - too washed out for me. I imagine I would have pulled it off eventually if I'd kept at it but - did I mention it was spring break? I may have lost a bit of focus somewhere along the line. (blame the child , that'll work yeah yeah. . .) My bit's have just enough color to carry them against that bg , but they were made with the original in mind and I do wish I hadn't killed it - but O well.
Oh - see the thumbtacks? Aren't they pretty?! I found them at Office Depot last month and snatched them - they come in such pretty colors I highly recommend you all go get some! AND - easy to clip , might I add. I drove them right through , then pulled them out and snipped of the tips - piece o'cake. Unlike some. I got a bobby pin once and winching the little butterfly off that little sucker was next to impossible - turned out it was sprung steel. The butterfly was about 3 mm's - I bruised my palm trying and then turned it over to my husband , the big-hands man (HUGE hands , I can't lace my fingers through when we hold hands). And it took him a while lol. Belligerent butterflies will be the death of us all , mark my words. You know how they are when they cop a 'tude , you just can't do a thing with them.
Monday, March 24, 2008
So my girl's now a pet of the Faerie - taken captive for her beauty and playful innocence , but at the same time made 'less-than' by that same captivity - silenced behind glass , her laughter heard no more , unless she's found once again by someone able to unravel the spell. . .dark , huh? What can I say , the Sidhe are a twisted breed. . .and the following is how the text on the manuscript reads.
Friday, March 21, 2008
We've decided to do some ATC's in one of my groups , and in another are working with various other techniques so I combined the two yesterday , and made my first ATC. The photo on the right is the original piece , and the photo on the left is a bit I used after cutting it up into eight pieces. Oddly , both are pretty true to color , but I didn't add any blue , soooo...don't know what happened there lol.
I've been feeling very reclusive the last few weeks , and have spent most of my time with my son or learning new artsy stuff. Or new to me , I should say - think they've been 'round forever lol. Some I've played with and some is still on the board - I'll try to share as I go along if I make anything interesting.
Hope you all have a lovely Easter - think we'll be dyeing eggs today or tomorrow , unless the Boy decides he just wants to eat them!
Friday, March 7, 2008
I got tagged twice for this game by Penny and Christine , so guess I'll give this one more try lol. We played a version of this in the Color Chronicles and I failed miserably at it , but I'll give it another whirl lol. On the bright side I just figured out how to make a link - whoohoo! But there's a dark side too - most everyone I know has already played lol , so I'm not quite sure who my 'six' are going to be!
Here are the rules:1. Link to the person that tagged you - 2. Post the rules on your blog - 3. Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself - 4. Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs - 5. Let each person know they’ve been tagged by leaving a comment on their site.
Here goes -
1) I cannot cook in a messy kitchen - it gets cleaned first , I clean and tidy as I work , but I never do the dishes after dinner lol. I waddle right off to bed and some mindless tv.
2)I cannot have "just one" drink , nor can I drink alone. Just one puts me to sleep and/or gives me a headache , but a whole bunch keeps me entertained for hours lol. *cheezy grin*
(Edit from much , much later on 4/3: I meant with people , not alone , lol. whoops.)
I was "reminded" of this yesterday. My gf had a complete meltdown and being the good friend I am , I got in the car and brought her chocolate salt and booze, in no particular order. And then spent a few hours agreeing that everyone she'd come in contact with that day was a rotten human being. We left the baby out of it , but personally I think the lack of sleep for a couple of years may have driven this conversation lol. I had one Jack and coke and spent the rest of the day feeling like crap.
3) I cannot sleep in an unmade-feeling bed. If the covers have shifted too far to the left , or one has slid down and the other is still where it's supposed to be , I can feel it and it drives me nuts. I have often re-made the bed with my husband still in it. He doesn't care.
4) I don't like any of my magazines or books ripped , torn , or wrinkled. It irritates me immensely. I save them , and Most of them are pristine - but some of them have been desecrated and I was Not happy about it. Big no-no.
5)I rarely bake , but I like bakeware. If it has a design or you can put it in a mold it interests me. But actually using it for food is rare lol. . .it was news to my son that cake was even an option on any day other than your birthday , and the day he figured it out was Red Letter baby - my gf helped him out there. She likes to bake - I like to make soup. I love soups and stews - partially because that means in the near future , I don't have to cook dinner. - Right on. I think we can all agree that the end of the day is really No time to have to make dinner on top of everything else. Who wants to do that. . .
6) I enjoy working out. I hate starting , but once I'm there I'm in the zone , particularly with weight training although even aerobics I now find fun (if I get to do a lot of jumping and hoppage). (but I detest dance videos). When I train , I concentrate so fiercely on form and function it drives everything else away - all the stress gets pushed OUT. Go ahead , laugh - this has saved the life of more than one child. Training to music is out though , because I listen to the lyrics and lose count. :)
(tip - when I train I do it circuit style one set per exercise for a total of however many sets you're going to do. Speeds things up so you don't have to stop and wait for one set of muscles to recover before using them again - you just keep moving along.)
I obviously have a hard time sticking to the subject , so everybody else gets to list like O say - I dunno , more than six. Whatever , lol - and the nominees ARE -
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
I decided to play around and explore the 'what if's' today , so I got out some fabric and started messing around with it. This is where I'm at now - not sure where I'm going from here though lol. The original plan was start small and just see if anything worked , and I lost track of that thought about 10 seconds after I gathered up my paints. Then I moved into making what I thought would be an interesting background piece - but now I'm not sure about that either. It actually would be a good background , I'm just not committing yet. :)
Anyway , it's been a while since I posted anything remotely artsy , so I thought I'd share this just for fun. If anyone has any idea's on what they'd do with it let me know!
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
When there is nothing left but God, that is when you find out that God is all you need. Take 60 seconds and give this a shot! All you do is simply say the following small prayer for the person who sent you this. “Heavenly Father, please bless all my friends in whatever it is that You know they may be needing this day! And may their life be full of Your peace, prosperity and power as he/she seeks to have a closer relationship with You. Amen.“
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Each of the ten partners received a stamp and one embellishment to be used on the cardstock provide from Inkastamps , and this challenge will be continued monthly , limited to the first 10 to sign up for it. We were free to use any other embellishments we chose to , but no other stamps - so of course I promptly choked lol. It's HARD not to use any other stamps when somebody says you can't - who knew?! I couldn't even use other stamps from Inka , but I persevered and this is the end result. I used watercolors , water soluble crayons and mica powder to color the stamp , and adapted a technique of Beryl Taylor's for the body of the card. I was really pleased with the way it looked , especially for the first time around.
Time to fly - need to get a roast in the oven before we all go pouf! and disappear completely - both my son and I are hungry NOW.
Maybe I'll just eat him and solve both our problems lol.
postscript 2/28 - Hey , I won the challenge! Doin' the happy dance lol!
Monday, February 18, 2008
Well , here I am bright and early. It's almost 7:30 in the morning , but I've been up for quite a while , and also half the night , thanks for asking lol. I've got a fresh pot brewing and while I was putting that together lost the 'warm spot' in the bed to my son , who is taking it over to play his xbox360. My husband snuck that in there while I was out yesterday - evidently Brady needed something to do while Dan was camped out on the couch watching Nascar. Why couldn't he watch it in the bedroom and leave the xbox out here you ask? NO idea - but don't even TRY to tell me how men are the 'logical' half of the species , 'cause they ain't. I've told him at least four times I didn't want the 360 in the bedroom. And the reason I've been up for so long is that he forgot to un-forward his phone , and half the crew has called since oh 4am. Yawn. This is after a night of being woken repeatedly by the unbelievable din that comes out of his face when he has a sinus infection. By 2am , sleeping in this morning was a firm plan. Crap.
I'm not sure why I'm posting this , or even if I really will - I think I've been possessed by the issue of Artful Blogging I got , that I wasn't going to buy. I knew I shouldn't. And I often wish Somerset would just put out ONE freaking magazine w/everything in it so I could just make ONE freaking trip to B&N to get it - but I'll try to stay on topic. Blogland is an enticing thing , and has sucked more time from me than I care to admit. I ration my time there now. I knew if I bought the issue , I would find blogs I needed to visit and of course , I did. My problem with that is if I'm sitting on the computer , I'm not getting anything else done like cleaning or arting or spending quality time with my son , or even with my bf and the McBaby - I NEED to see our baby and the bf needs a girl that's grown to talk to. No matter what I'm doing , I'm usually feeling guilty for not doing something else so really , I'm just always wrong lol.
What I did not expect to find were the amount of testimonials about blogging , and being your true self and using an honest voice. Being real about your life online. You know , I like the theory. I'm not sure about the reality. My reality is that I'm actually very private , regardless of my off-the-cuff writing. I share what I share and say what I say because I'm NOT emotionally invested in it - I don't care if anyone sees it. I don't want to write something ONLINE , for crying out loud , and deeply regret it later.
But on the other hand I'm the honest sort that sort of throws things out there , and I'm nothing if not wordy. I swear I write more than I talk , I really do. In real life I'm very quiet and lost in my thoughts more often than not. When these thoughts are about how I'm going to work my next piece , I have been known to get out of the tub after shaving only one leg and forgetting to wash my hair. This sort of thing drives me nuts. (there I shared lol). I swear to you I've done it more than once and now I double-check because I know this about myself. I'm probably quiet because I'm so confused about which direction I need to point next - all those voices talking at once in there. 'Reconcile the CC/bank statements is the online service I've switched us to working out crap the early payment I sent to the CC is now on last months statement and I have to pay them AGAIN (insert swearing) we're out of bandaids milk and fresh veggies gotta get the laundry going (I should really try to get some of the mud off those clothes before I destroy my machine) and there's crap all over the floor again WHERE are my favorite jeans it's not like I wore them out and LEFT them somewhere for crying out loud , I need to make something for the challenge at Trends and how am I going to include the poetry I wrote for the other piece and keep it balanced visually - is posting on my blog a complete snore for the peoples if there's no art to go with it?" on and on. That last one was a recent thought...and THAT train of what-passes-for-thought is then interrupted by my son's illuminating explanation of how he last farted. He has more fun with this than anyone I've ever met , and really likes to analyze the different noises his butt is capable of entertaining him with. There are a lot of moments where I stop and think 'yes , this is a perfect example of yet another conversation I do NOT remember dreaming about as a young girl".
Don't think that I've missed the conflict between sitting down to write on my blog and not getting on that to-do list. Which interestingly brings up Michelle Ward. I visited her blog (sigh) yesterday , and she's apparently convinced that I should be journalling. Where does one find the time for this? Again though , her words strike a chord with me as they often have in the past. I see the need for EVIDENCE. Until yesterday , the word did not have the same importance for me that it does today , or the same connotation. I agree that it's valuable both personally and as a record of who I am for my son to have one day , but where the hell does she find the time????? I can't see making the art and journalling about it too - I'm thrilled just to get to the art , and when I do I'm making that piece - I do not have left over swatches and stuff to use to make a journal page. And if I did , I can virtually guarantee my journal page would become something else I had to 'get right' and I just don't need that kind of pressure lol. There's got to be more to that story. She arts in a more structured way than I have achieved , perhaps - making background pages and components that are ready to go when she wants to use them , maybe? Possibly at warp speed? I don't know , but I know that her life has GOT to be busier than mine , and I'm nowhere close to being organized enough to add anything else to my list.
Which makes me feel like I'm failing again. I hate that. And I can tell it's going to niggle at me , this idea of leaving EVIDENCE - I can feel it in my bones. People die young and I can too - if I die will anyone hear the tree falling in the forest? No , they won't. But he needs to. I want to leave a memory/story for my son , so he knows who I was and the things that were important to me and how he is at the top of that list even when I'm trying really hard to ignore him and finish my own thought. What if I don't die and get Alzheimers like my mom , and I'm still here but *I* don't remember anymore? There are so many things I can't ask her now and didn't think to before , and Brady will never know her as she was. It's a huge loss , something you can't really understand unless you're dealing with it. He will know his fathers side of the family , which is more than I can say , but I want him to know me too , when he's older. I'm the Mama to him , but I want him to know what his mama's loves and life were all about , and in turn perhaps his children will have the oppurtunity that he didn't have with his grandmother. I've got to get the hang of the journalling , but it should be about more than art or our trip to the zoo , and I don't know where to begin. It's such a tall order , you know?
So all of these things , from the to-do list to the EVIDENCE are some of what I have been thinking about the last 24 hours. Not all - I'm contemplating some other things too , that I'm not ready to share. Haven't even said out loud. Will I , can I - don't want to say it loud because if I don't admit it , I won't fail...Is this normal , I wonder? Is it just me that feels overwhelmed with the shoulds and idea's my busy little brain comes up with? I get so paralyzed sometimes - particularly with art , because I want to do soooo many things I actually turn away from it and stick my head in the sand , so to speak. Doesn't work well , so don't try this at home lol.
Should I post before drinking a whole pot of coffee?
My lap was just invaded by said boy with all his knees and elbows and a demand for cereal made while I kissed his back - another day begins lol. The thought of forgetting him and these moments or his crazy conversations breaks my heart. I want to hold him forever. : )
Another good reason for EVIDENCE - I might need to read my story too. I don't mean to be depressing , but it just dawned on me. I better get a lot more interesting lol.
Off I go.